One-liners

[SpyderTracks]

Happy May 1st everyone, may we be reminded of the sage wisdom that was and always shall be.... Red Dwarf

 

[ubuysa]

 

[TonyCarter]

I was gifted a $10,000,000,000 Zimbabwe dollar note once...and found out it was worth about £2.

BBC NEWS | World | Africa | Zimbabwe rolls out Z$100tr note

news.bbc.co.uk

 

[Martinr36]

 

[Martinr36]

 

[TonyCarter]

View attachment 44276

Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away!

 

[Martinr36]

A little three year old boy is sitting on the toilet. His mother thinks he has been in there too long, so she goes in to see what's up. The little boy is sitting on the toilet reading a book. But about every ten seconds or so he puts the book down, grips onto to the toilet seat with his left hand and hits himself on top of the head with his right hand. His mother says, “Billy, are you all right? You've been in here for a while…”
Billy says, “I'm fine, Mommy…i just haven't gone 'doody' yet.""
Mother says, “ Okay, you can stay here a few more minutes. But, Billy, why are you hitting yourself on the head?""
Billy says, “ Works for ketchup.""

 

[TonyCarter]

You see where he's gone wrong?

You hit the ketchup bottle on the BOTTOM to get stuff out of the top...not the other way around!

 

[SimonPeters116]

You see where he's gone wrong?

You hit the ketchup bottle on the BOTTOM to get stuff out of the top...not the other way around!

True enough, but you turn the ketchup bottle over.
So the bottom becomes the top, and the top (complete with hole) becomes the bottom.
He's got the principal right, just not the right application
I think the application required is the shake/jerk technique ???

 

[Martinr36]

I think the application required is the shake/jerk technique

He might be a bit young for that 😂😂😂