BlessedSquirrel
We love you Ukraine
Happy May 1st everyone, may we be reminded of the sage wisdom that was and always shall be.... Red Dwarf
One-liners
- Thread starter AgentCooper
- Start date
TonyCarter
VALUED CONTRIBUTOR
I was gifted a $10,000,000,000 Zimbabwe dollar note once...and found out it was worth about £2.
news.bbc.co.uk
BBC NEWS | World | Africa | Zimbabwe rolls out Z$100tr note
news.bbc.co.uk
TonyCarter
VALUED CONTRIBUTOR
Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away!
Martinr36
MOST VALUED CONTRIBUTOR
A little three year old boy is sitting on the toilet. His mother thinks he has been in there too long, so she goes in to see what's up. The little boy is sitting on the toilet reading a book. But about every ten seconds or so he puts the book down, grips onto to the toilet seat with his left hand and hits himself on top of the head with his right hand. His mother says, “Billy, are you all right? You've been in here for a while…”
Billy says, “I'm fine, Mommy…i just haven't gone 'doody' yet.""
Mother says, “ Okay, you can stay here a few more minutes. But, Billy, why are you hitting yourself on the head?""
Billy says, “ Works for ketchup.""
Billy says, “I'm fine, Mommy…i just haven't gone 'doody' yet.""
Mother says, “ Okay, you can stay here a few more minutes. But, Billy, why are you hitting yourself on the head?""
Billy says, “ Works for ketchup.""
TonyCarter
VALUED CONTRIBUTOR
You see where he's gone wrong?
You hit the ketchup bottle on the BOTTOM to get stuff out of the top...not the other way around!
You hit the ketchup bottle on the BOTTOM to get stuff out of the top...not the other way around!
SimonPeters116
Well-known member
True enough, but you turn the ketchup bottle over.
So the bottom becomes the top, and the top (complete with hole) becomes the bottom.
He's got the principal right, just not the right application
I think the application required is the shake/jerk technique ???
Martinr36
MOST VALUED CONTRIBUTOR
He might be a bit young for that 😂😂😂
TonyCarter
VALUED CONTRIBUTOR
That's portrait of a Mangalica pig - a hairy breed - getting ready for its 'special day'.
or it could be my sister - hard to tell really
Last edited:
Often mistaken for my mother-in-law
BlessedSquirrel
We love you Ukraine
It’s Jesus footprints I think, toes at the top.
The two holes where the pigs eyes would be are where the nails went through
Martinr36
MOST VALUED CONTRIBUTOR
Loving your new name 😂😂😂
TonyCarter
VALUED CONTRIBUTOR
I prefer roasted squirrel myself - much crispier & nuttier
Martinr36
MOST VALUED CONTRIBUTOR
I'm going sure that you can get much nuttier 😂😂👍I prefer roasted squirrel myself - much crispier & nuttier
BlessedSquirrel
We love you Ukraine
Would be quite keen to try that, with a bit of chilliI prefer roasted squirrel myself - much crispier & nuttier
TonyCarter
VALUED CONTRIBUTOR
Chill sauce or 'chilli con ardilla'?
Chilli con 'anything' is fine with me - especially over fries (or nachos) with lots of cheese and jalapeños!
BlessedSquirrel
We love you Ukraine
Ooo I had to look that up but it’s definitely got a good ring to it, like that a lot!